Coincidence
– or: Life is what you make it!

Am I familiar with the concept of coincidence – which, according to Lexico, is the “remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection”?

 Sure I am! In fact, while writing this text and sorting my thoughts, I realize the very moment I started writing this might be a question of coincidence: a sunny Sunday afternoon, students studying for their exams, birds singing their songs, a gentle breeze caressing my skin – all in all, perfect conditions for revisiting past situations and musing about coincidences. A setting that stimulates my thinking process – which seems like a very happy coincidence, right?

 Several other recent examples comes to mind …

Yesterday morning: a car leaving at just the right moment for me to get that oh-so-coveted parking spot … Later on, bumping into my cousin at the hairdresser’s and ending up in the seat next to hers –both of us having made no appointment, either with the hairdresser or each other, all by chance.

Some more examples:

• I think of a friend; that very friend calls or texts me out of the blue
• I have a question about something, and there always seems to be someone working on precisely that topic – which they either talk to me about or I happen to overhear it in a conversation or with someone else
• I read about a new interesting article or book, wondering whether I should get it – at that very moment someone sends me a link and recommendation
• The radio plays a song I love, and which I’ve been humming all morning. What a bliss!

Come to think of it, my whole life seems to be filled with such moments, smaller and bigger coincidences. Some have been so strange – or so special – that they’ve actually made me wonder out loud: “Can this be normal?!”

Seems like some things are meant to be

A couple of years ago I was hired for a project abroad. At the time I wasn’t really thinking about my future a lot; I just lived for the moment. It was also a period of intense work and long working hours. After the meet-and-greet with local client representatives, I drove back to the hotel I had booked for the rest of the week. The scenery was just perfect: a winter evening, freezing cold, heavy grey sky, and those small lights everywhere, reminding me that Christmas was drawing closer.

It did something to me. I felt this warm glow build inside of me, as if nature itself was sending me an invitation. After dinner I called my mom and told her, “this may sound strange, but I have a strong feeling that fate has brought me here and I just need to be here”. And I was right.

The following month I kicked off the project and was assigned a number of local team members. We clicked immediately. The strong rapport added to my inner feeling that I was meant to be precisely where I was, and I absolutely wanted to stay. Eventually I had a conversation with my manager and let him know I would appreciate a local contract. It materialized six months later. By another nice coincidence, there was someone to take over my apartment right away. I was ready for my new adventure, and so excited.

Some two years later a friend invited me for dinner, along with another friend I hadn’t met. I was looking forward to the evening and hoping for an interesting dinner conversation. Well, it turned out to be the opening for another great adventure: That friend of a friend became my husband less than a year later. Isn’t it amazing how one evening and one dinner can change your entire life!

Use the momentum to seize your chances

After living abroad for a couple of years, we moved back to Belgium for my husband’s next career step. While packing up and preparing for the move, I decided to use that momentum for a major change in my own professional life, and to realize one of my life goals: quit the company and open my own business as a trainer and coach.

Once in Belgium, lots of wonderful things happened. Was it coincidence that, when I met my potential partners, we instantly clicked? Was it coincidence that interesting projects were launched precisely at that time? That people got in touch with me after as much as 10 years?

And there’s more – things that go much deeper.

• Is it coincidence when a client has the same values and standards I do?
• Was it coincidence when that coachee asked me about exactly the kind of service I had been thinking about for the longest? In particular since, as a coach, I have to remain “neutral” at all times – I can’t show my own emotions, nor can I share my personal situation.

Thinking back, my feeling is that coincidence is often related to my energy level. When I’m in good shape, fortunate coincidences are more likely to happen. An open mind, spontaneity and a deep belief that everything will turn out fine – and no, I don’t blindly trust in “the system”! – seem to be key factors that turn coincidences into wonderful opportunities.

Coincidence makes me enjoy things deeply, throw myself into the unknown, take that crucial step towards a new direction. It makes life more beautiful and more interesting. And it makes me feel deeply grateful and intensely appreciative.

Dear readers: I wish you the same, and more. May you experience many happy coincidences – no matter whether you read this by coincidence or not.